{❤}

♥ 4:03 PM

yesterday is an unlucky day.
firstly, i fell backwards as i tripped unto the drain while i'm moving backwards. i hurt my left arm. sharp pain after that i thought i'm going to break my arm cos there's this hole in my elbow i realise but i think i think too much cos my the other elbow also have. =P
after that i stomachache! rawr. so in the end never go cca.

anyway anyway,
i poned cca today. haizz.
i noe i very bad but i really really don't felt like going.
i ate lunch with angela and was worrying during the whole lunch.
she asked me not to think so much. i do agree. think so much also no use. but i can't help it lehh.
sorry to keep her sister waiting. and sorry angela for thinking with me too. sorry for wasting your time and your brain cells.
actually, since is i choose to pon one, i should just face the consequences. why must i keep worrying and stuff and think of excuses, blablabla, when i have the choice to go?
this is stupid. rawr.
i'm really a stupid person. and the wierdest person in the world.
wierd. wierd. wierd.
i hate this side of me.
stupid.
why didn't i quit during sec one? this is my greatest regret in my life. no offence dancers and maybe, teachers-in-charge.
but i feel really stress when i go for cca when ccas are supposed to be activities that we enjoy, something that we have passion in.
i don't really noe the particular reason why i don't like going for cca when actually it wasn't really that bad at all.
to be honest, i don't like the instructor. [no offence!]
i think it's cos i've been like scolded quite frequently during sec one and scolded here and there during sec2 and 3. (but getting scolded is also cos i did something wrong mahh.)
i don't like wearing dance tee somehow, other than being kind of small, but i don't like others to noe that i'm from dance when i'm not good at it at all.
i don't like saying that my cca is dance during introductions cos i'm so not good in dance plus the fact that i don't like cca.
(but then, it's also up to my choice whether i want to be good or not.
i didn't put in any effort in upgrading myself, being more flexible and stuff.)
so whats the problem with me?! whats the stupid problem with me?!
i guess the biggest problem is that i don't like my cca thats why i've been trying all my best to skip it and not wanting to put in any effort to do well.
okay, so after analyzing, the root problem is with me, me and me.
why must i be like that? why why why?!
its all my own fault for bringing myself into such state.
why must i be so quiet?! why didn't i try?! why didn't i put in more effort to impove myself?!
gosh, i think there's seriously something wrong with me.
i think i need a psychologist. seriously. i'm going crazy. no, i am already crazy.
i'm like thinking that i'm bad and stuff while thinking that it's all because of the instructor[no offence!]. is like i'm fighting with myself.
someone please kai dao me.
this is super crazy.

ps. save me!!~